The day after my fiftieth birthday I found myself surrounded by death. In our circle of friends and family, three great people had passed within a week. I was having difficulty being everywhere for everyone but I knew I just needed to have faith and keep moving forward, one responsibility at a time.

I was experiencing what I thought to be double vision at the time. I  made the mistake of searching the internet for a cause. My search ended with enough information to believe I was having a stroke. A blood pressure reading of 185/100 at my local clinic earned me a fancy ambulance ride to the hospital. It was a difficult moment which changed my life for the better.

Life is forever changing. If you're anything like me, there are times when you wish it wouldn't. I wish life could run smoothly day after day but it won't. I wish the good times could always outweigh the bad but sometimes they just don't. That's life, forever changing; for the better, for the worse.

I wish the people we love didn't have to die... but they do. I wish age didn't bring limitations... but it does. How we choose to live makes a difference as to how we live and how we die. If we have the power to change how we live in order to positively impact the living and dying parts, I think we should. It just might be; life changing. It certainly has been for me.

I turned fifty in September, 2015. Six months prior, I had made a visit to my primary care doctor. The words he said impacted me quite negatively at first but in the long run I found them to be an inspiration.

"You know, my doctor said, your blood pressure has been high the last few times I've seen you. I think it's time to think about blood pressure medication. I'd like you to monitor your blood pressure daily for the next six weeks and then come back in for a re-check."

I tried to make good on his orders but couldn't. I found checking my blood pressure stressful. My numbers just kept going higher and higher. I cancelled my appointment six weeks later and every six weeks until until November when I felt I was ready to return.

I knew I hadn't done a dang thing as far as diet and exercise were concerned. I wanted to do something to help myself before I returned to his office. I also knew I didn't want begin a regiment of  high blood pressure medication. I would do anything to change myself before taking a pill that would change my situation for me. I thought to myself, If I have high blood pressure, it’s my own fault. I've always eaten whatever I wanted to eat. Salted whatever needed salting and not since high school, had I participated in any form of physical activity with regularity. My stress level was high and my effort to help myself feel better was non existent.

As I made the ambulance ride to the hospital on the first day of my fiftieth year, I overheard the EMT announce to the dispatcher that he had “a fifty year old female on board,” with this vital sign and that. It was weird to hear my name with that age. I was sure to let him know that I had only been fifty for about a day and that it seemed like he was having an awful lot of fun announcing it. Upon arrival in the Emergency Room, I received no special testing. I needed no special attention or drastic measures. After many hours of waiting and plenty of time to consider every terrifying possibility, a very nice doctor returned to my room and informed me, to my surprise, that after his assessment he did not think I had high blood pressure but rather a vision problem. He wanted me to make an appointment with an eye doctor and that was all. I was encouraged and relieved.

I had just picked up a new pair of glasses two weeks prior to that time so I headed straight to Costco to have my prescription verified. Turned out my prescription was fine but my lenses were not sitting straight. Apparently, with an astigmatism as severe as mine, twisted lenses can cause your eyes to pull to the point of crossing. Once my lenses were straightened out, my vision problems were gone. One major problem solved. Another issue yet to be confronted, more change was necessary. I just needed to figure out how to do the changing.

In the days which followed my ER visit, I had a regularly scheduled appointment with my hairdresser. There really is nothing like a great cut and color to make a girl feel young and beautiful. It was certainly an appointment I was not afraid to keep.

If your hairdresser or barber is anything like mine, your time spent together is as much about great conversation and laughter, as it is about your hair. I’ve been seeing Pam since our girls were in pre-school together. So, for about seventeen years we have come together over a chair, a bowl, scissors and a blow dryer to discuss the worlds problems, including a few of our own. Our conversation that day was more than chatter, it was absolutely life changing.

Pam listened to the latest story of my heart and as she often does with clients said what she thought might help. She dared me to join her for a fitness class which started the following Monday. Titled; 28 Days to Sexy Slim and Strong, it would cost $137.00 and would include 3-4 days of workout a week, regular weigh ins and a meal plan. I discussed the idea with my husband when he got home that evening. He said, “With everything you’ve been through lately, I think the class would be well worth it.”

I’d never been a part of a work out group. Heck, I’d never been inside a fitness center. So, I did the only thing I could, what any good green horn would do, I begged my daughter for help in finding something appropriate to wear.

I had to miss the weigh in on Sunday. Because that detail seemed to go unnoticed, I decided for myself I would not take on the meal plan aspect of the class. I committed to watching what I ate and when I ate it. I gave up drinks other than water and committed to making work outs 3-4 times a week.

The class kicked off the following Monday and kicked my butt for 28 days. I found muscle groups which had long been forgotten. I didn’t realize how set in my physical ways I had become. The class awakened a consciousness I did not know I had. I made a fool of myself more than once. Not knowing how to do a proper squat or lunge saw to that. Most of the people there had taken the class before. My inexperience was obvious but my will to continue on was far greater. It helped that Pam was there to cheer me on. The fast pace and circuit nature of the training really woke up my thinker; another gift I didn’t see coming.

Near the end of my 28 days, knowing I could not afford to take the class again, I began to take a look around the room. I wanted to take away every possible bit of knowledge and inspiration for my effort. I took note of the different shapes and sizes of the people, as well as the differing levels of skill and commitment. Because I’m not a large person people often assume I am healthy. It had been said to me before that I can’t possibly understand what it’s like to be overweight. It’s true. I did not have a great deal of weight to lose… but the distance between being unhealthy and doing something about it is really the same for everyone... no matter what your size.

Out of all I learned in those 28 days, that one thought was by far my greatest take away. Our issues may vary, but no matter what the circumstance, the distance between doing nothing and doing something about that which faces us is the same. Turns out… I’m much stronger than I thought.

The class ended but my commitment to better health continues. I met the holiday season with a new way of thinking. I did not abstain from my favorite things to eat but for the first time in my life, I thought about what I was eating and how many times I visited the hors d’oeuvre and dessert counter. Water is still my favorite drink of choice and moving the boxes of paper work from the treadmill gave me a place to get my heart rate up each day. Our son left enough free weights around after high school that I can keep up my reps and the yoga mat I got for Christmas years ago now gets a work out of it’s own.

I finally visited my primary care doctor in November. The threat of high blood pressure medication was lifted. I admitted I had been avoiding him because I knew I needed to change my way of living in order to find out what my body could do without medication. “Well,” he said.”You’ve done it.”

To think, a potential diagnosis was all I needed to change my life. Sure it took months to get started as well as the encouragement and accountability between friends but the outcome has been wonderfully satisfying, inspiring and life changing.

It's taken me a while to get to the point of sharing my personal journey publicly. I write all of this with a thankful heart.

Pamela Marthaller, Cosmos Deja Vu
Mah- Ann's Pro Fitness

SCRIPTURALLY SPEAKING:
Hebrews 12:12
12 Therefore, strengthen the hands that are weak and the knees that are feeble,
NASB

1 Corinthians 3:16
Do you not know that you are God's temple and that God's Spirit dwells in you?
NASB

Redefining Philanthropy - Two Stories

By definition: philanthropy (Merriam-Webster)
noun phi·lan·thro·py \fə-ˈlan(t)-thrə-pē\
: the practice of giving money and time to help make life better for other people

Story One:
Refreshingly Different

An acquaintance of mine threw a party which cost $10,000.00 to throw. There was plenty of shrimp for the five-hundred or so wealthy guests. Making money for herself was not the goal. For her there was no financial return. 

Usual fund raising fashion would dictate; artists are invited to donate their work, wealthy folks are invited to a party and auction to bid on the donated items. In contrast, this hostess invited the artists to come to her gallery and display their creations. The wealthy were invited to peruse the gallery and purchase what they wanted. The only cost to the artists was a requirement to donate 15% of their earnings from sales to the charity chosen for the night. 

In an artists world it’s tough to make a living. Fundraisers usually require creative and talented people to donate their work, therefore giving away more of themselves for free. So, the starving artist gets to starve more. In contrast, this event gave artists the opportunity to sell their work and be philanthropists for a change. The wealthy guests were confused. Not only by the fact that they couldn’t bid for items but the concept that the woman who paid for the evening did it at her own expense was nearly impossible to comprehend. People just don’t do it that way.

Phone calls and emails are still coming in. Guests want to know what was in it for the hostess; It was an event which valued the artist and the artwork. It also afforded guests the opportunity to make a purchase which ultimately benefitted the charity. $50,000.00 was raised. How refreshing!

Someone once asked if I consider myself a philanthropist. 

My initial response was, “No. I don’t have enough money.” Then it occurred to me, philanthropy is really not all about the money. More so, it is about giving of what you have, no matter the amount. 

As in Luke, Chapter 21:1-4. The amount of her gift was relative to what she had to give and truly a sacrifice.

The Widow’s Gift

21 And He looked up and saw the rich putting their gifts into the treasury. 2 And He saw a poor widow putting in two small copper coins. 3 And He said, “Truly I say to you, this poor widow put in more than all of them; 4 for they all out of their surplus put into the offering; but she out of her poverty put in all that she had to live on.” (NASB)

As I reflect, I wonder. How many of us are giving but don’t count it as such?
I’m going to tell you a story I never thought I would share publicly. Until now, it’s been my little  secret. I’m only publishing it because I think we all do more than other people know. We don’t get big thank you notes, plaques on a wall or tax receipts at the end of the year. Still, it is all worth doing.

Story Two: 
​Philanthropy In A Sandwich Shop

There is a young lady I have come to know. She works at a sandwich shop here in town. I first encountered her a few years ago. I noticed she seemed sad and struck up a cheerful conversation. Over time and many visits I learned she’d had a pretty rough go of it. I didn’t ask for details but it was obvious she had survived some pretty hard times. After seeing her there for well over a year, she shared one day how excited she was when she found out her driver’s license could be re-instated. I got the impression she had been without it for at least a couple of years. She said it would take her a few months to raise the money she needed for the Department of Motor Vehicles fees and an official copy of her birth certificate. I felt inspired to do a little something to help her out. So, from that moment on, every time I went in, I paid for my sandwich and gave her five additional dollars, sometimes a little more, toward her goal. Once she was able to get her license… she set out to buy a car. That took a while too. She wasn’t looking for anything fancy, just something to get her to work and home again. She probably paid a few hundred bucks for the car. Frankly, as it sits in the parking lot, it looks a little like it’s been abandoned. I saw her the other day and asked her how the car was running. She said, “Real Good.”She also said it took her a while to learn how to drive it. She said, “Like, the handle for the windshield wipers is broken off but I figured out if I put my finger in the hole and push real hard, I can turn them on.” She smiled and laughed with pride. I smiled back. “Good for you, I said, sounds like a great solution.” If I could afford to buy her a car I would. Instead, my small sacrifice of giving continues and is now going toward gas money.

Does that one little thing I do make me a philanthropist? I think so. So too, does the amount of time I spend thinking of that young woman and praying for her. She has no idea.
So we give as we can give. God knows who needs what and when. He also knows what we are all capable of giving and doing. I pray I always do my best. I seek to serve. I pray for discernment in giving while trusting that God will provide, for me too. 

Philanthropy is just a word. We have the power to give it our own definition.
Thank you for reading this. Blessings on your journey.

I left Jennie's house that day with a full heart and hugs on board. I will never forget her or the many blessings her willingness to reach across the country granted to so many, myself included. I headed for Melbourne, one more night in a hotel and one last morning Mass the next day with Sisters Immaculata and Joseph at Ascension.

I am overwhelmed by the generosity, humility, faith and joy of Sisters Joseph and Immaculata. They came here to Melbourne from Ireland in 1961, with no money and orders to start a school. These two amazing foundresses were beyond successful in their mission. They still have offices on campus at Ascension Catholic School. Sr. Immaculata, the more vocal of the two, taught Kindergarten there for 54 years until, as she puts it, she was, "recycled." She now handles all matters regarding pastoral care; by serving the sick, the dying, the home bound and the incarcerated. Sr. Joseph is Development Director for the school and was busy preparing for their Casino Night fund raiser while I was there.  http://www.americancatholic.org/news/report.aspx?id=2477

So, this story of miracles ends as it began at the airport in Melbourne, Florida.
If you read my earlier posts, you may remember, The Luggage Lady. Well, wouldn't you know it, Sister Immaculata followed me to the airport to see me off and The Luggage Lady (Michelle) was there at the ticket counter. God certainly was not going to let Michelle miss the opportunity to meet the nun who ran past her at the airport on the day of my arrival.

    If we try, it's really not that hard to find God. I think sometimes we don't want to hear what He has to say or to see what He has to offer. I believe with my whole heart that if we look at everything as opportunity we will find joy in seeking His presence, in each other and the gifts we have been given to share. He is everywhere, in everything, just waiting to be seen and loved by us. I know this much for sure, the more I seek Him... the more I find Him. I pray, as long as there is breath in me, may I never stop making the most of every moment. The Joy of the Lord is my strength.

SCRIPTURALLY SPEAKING:
Psalm 16:11
11 You will make known to me the path of life;
In Your presence is fullness of joy;
In Your right hand there are pleasures forever. (NASB)

With an afternoon to spare, I hurried to the nearest Wal-Mart for supplies. A bamboo mat, sunscreen and a beach towel were the only things on my list. With very little planning, other than my beach time shopping spree, I was off to enjoy the Florida Atlantic Coast.

Of course, traveling on faith, I failed to check the weather report. As I waited for construction traffic on the bridge over the Atlantic Intracoastal Waterway, it became obvious that the lightning, thunder and rain would arrive at the beach before I did.

By the time I reached the State Park at the coast, the storm was fully involved. Incessant, rumbling thunder shook my little rental car as well as my heart. Lightning flashes were all around. They were impossible to predict, because everything was happening so fast. I tried to capture a picture of a lightning flash but worried my phone would act as a rod and I might be killed. The fact that I was the only person in the parking lot made me question my "good judgment” in being there, so I played it safe and stopped trying. I didn’t want my stupidity to make me a candidate for the evening news; 

"Amateur storm chaser dies while posing for a selfie in a storm. She was found naked and afraid clutching her iPhone, a bamboo beach mat, sunscreen and a towel." 

I like to pray the Rosary when I’m out of ideas or when my ideas are too many to bear. When I feel like God wants more time with me, I meditate on the Mysteries and let God work. For me, the Rosary is a good way to get lost in the presence of God. 

    Being given the opportunity to sing for four Masses, one Sunday, at St. Anastasia Catholic Church in Fort Pierce, Florida turned out to be a blessing... and not just for me. Upon returning home, after a week of pure goodness and joy, the ripples of faith continued to go out. Linda Schildwachter, a woman I have never met, sent me the following message through Facebook. Only God could do something like this.

    Working for God does come with full benefits. I am cared for, loved, completely entertained and humbled by watching His work through mine. I am Thankful for the way God brings us together at just the right time. Who knew, when my friend Jim asked me to write a song for his granddaughter... that God would use that song down the road to bless another? It is obvious again that everything we do is for something. Sometimes we have the privilege of finding out what that something is. I am thankful and inspired to keep answering God's call. As I frequently say to myself, "Just shut up and do the work. God knows the reasons why."

Scripturally Speaking:
Ephesians 3:20-21
20 Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, 21 to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen.
NASB

"Sit on it and I'll take your picture." She said.
"You go first." I replied. What I didn't realize was that she knew better
than to actually sit on the blistering reptile.

    I sat on the old boy like I knew what I was doing. I did not. Scorched my wrist, my ankle and my pretty, white pants. So much for new found friendship. I suppose, if I hadn't acted like I knew what I was doing she might have tried to help.

    That's Jennie Capezza, the smart one on the left; a native Floridian who knew what would happen to a metal alligator in the piping hot sun. She attended my class in April 2015 at the National Catholic Educational Association Conference in Orlando (NCEA). Honestly, I don't remember meeting her back then but I will never forget the day that she contacted me the following  June.

Jennie wrote:

Hello Julie,
 
    My name is Jennie Capezza. I am the Director of Campus Ministry at John Carroll High School in Fort Pierce, FL. I attended one of your dynamic sessions at the recent NCEA conference in Orlando. I love listening to your CD as I drive around town! I am inquiring about the possibility of you leading our faculty retreat on Tuesday, August 11 in Fort Pierce, FL. I would love to share your message with our faculty prior to returning to school in the Fall. Please respond with your availability and monetary cost.  Thank you for your prayerful consideration.
 
It didn't take long to feel God's leading in this opportunity. It was actually more like a heart felt leap. I responded with my "Yes" and Jennie replied:

    I’m thrilled to hear that you are available. I am in the process of communicating with my administrator about budget and expectations for that day and will be able to confirm with you at the beginning of next week. Can you tentatively hold that date for me until I get approval?

Her story continued:

    I would like to share a little bit about myself and the great impact you had on my life at the NCEA conference.

    During my first day at the NCEA conference in Orlando, I attended a couple High School/English sessions and felt like a fish out of water. I was disappointed and had an overwhelming feeling like I had been misplaced. But I held on to my faith in God’s plan; His timing and placement has always been perfect in my life. Well, God delivered once again when He guided me to your session. As soon as I walked in, I felt at home as you were passing out doughnuts and welcoming everyone. I didn’t talk very much, but I took it ALL in. I felt connected to your beautiful, simple message of God’s love and plan for us. The Holy Spirit was stirring in me, and I had an overwhelming feeling that I needed to communicate my feelings of inadequacy as a high school English teacher with my administrator. Well, I communicated that I could no longer to be an English teacher. I felt lost for a couple weeks, not knowing if I would return to elementary school or just work at Starbuck’s for a couple years. Luckily, I was offered the  Director of Campus Ministry position last week, and I am thrilled. But, I honestly feel like I would not have had the courage to say something if I wouldn’t have experienced God’s message through you. So… thank you! Just wanted to bear witness to the fruits of your labor!!

God bless you,
Jennie Capezza

Jennie started her new job in June. She emailed me on June 4th. The stories of faith and inspiration which were to follow would not have come to be if it hadn't been for Jennie's willingness to reach out and share. She had no fear. She felt led to my class where God was truly the one waiting for her. She risked her career by telling her boss she could no longer continue in her current position. When offered her new role she did not hesitate and when she started her new job, the first thing she did was reach out, kitty corner, all the way across the country to ask if I might consider leading their faculty retreat.

I am humbled by my role in any of this. It is by God's grace that I have found the ability to share the gifts He has given me. No one could have predicted the outcome of Jennie's faithfulness and she is just getting started. I am a willing participant and an awestruck witness to God's work. He knows I'll go anywhere and I will do anything for Him... even if it means unwittingly sitting on a metal alligator in the hot Florida sun.

John Carroll Catholic High School Faculty Retreat, August 11, 2015.
You will be forever in my heart.

Scripturally Speaking:

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans that I have for you, declares the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. (NASB)

Wow! God is really good. My flight to Melbourne was on time today. My bag, however, decided to spend a little more time in Atlanta. When the luggage lady gave me the news, I told her I'd just get my rental car and wait at the airport.

l took the opportunity to familiarize myself with the car and load all my addresses into the GPS. I also tuned in for Sr. Immaculata's radio interview. As it turned out, her station number had changed so I spent an hour listening to Catholic Radio discussing a topic which wasn't particularly interesting to me. I missed her interview entirely.

Three hours after my original arrival I retrieved my bag, only a little irritated when, after all that, it was nearly the last one off the belt. On very little sleep overnight and nothing to eat... I finally hit the road.

My hotel was to be an hour drive from the airport. I decided to find my way to Sr. Immaculata's church in order to further familiarize myself with the car and practice driving in Florida. I found the church and sat for a few minutes at the far end of the parking lot. Feeling a little lost... I looked at a map to orient myself with the area and entered my hotel as the next destination. I glanced up just in time to see a white mini van pass before me, left to right. I was shocked to recognize Sr. Immaculata as the passenger. I quickly dropped my navigation tools and set out in hot pursuit. I followed that van for over five miles. Through neighborhoods and busy streets, I worked the scene like I was a cop in an episode of The First 48. Feeling like a stalker, I called my sister for advice. "Is this wrong? I asked. I'm not even sure it's her!" "You've gone this far, she said. It's gotta be a God thing. See it through and let me know what happens."

The van entered a shopping center parking lot. The driver parked, left the car running and went into the store, I cautiously approached the van and gave a happy wave to the passenger. It was her alright, sweet, hilarious, Sr. Immaculata.

We were both shocked and thrilled to have found each other since we had no plan to do so until later in the week. She told me she had come to the airport in an attempt to welcome me but could not find me. Her story explained though why the luggage lady mentioned seeing a nun rush through the area shortly before my original luggage-less arrival. We visited for a good fifteen minutes. It was wonderful.

I asked, "Do you drink wine, Sister?" "Well, yes dear, I do." "Good, I said, I brought you a bottle all the way from Oregon." Wine in hand she said, "God's provision is wonderful. Like manna in the desert, He does provide." To which I replied, "Like manna in the desert there is wine at the beach!" We held hands as we talked and exchanged I love yous as we said goodbye. Not so hard to believe, actually, that when you live life by the heart and let God lead... beautiful things happen. Serendipities abound. More about us when we meet again this Thursday.

Scripturally Speaking:
Proverbs 3:5-6
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
And do not lean on your own understanding.
6 In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He will make your paths straight.
(NASB)

Sometimes my schedule is crazy. This time, after a few busy days, I've built in time for God's plan to unfold. I hope you enjoy this email message of faith sent to:

Sr. Immaculata Knox R.S.M.
Ascension Catholic Church
Melbourne, FL, U.S.A.
July 27, 2015

Subject line: URGENT TRAVELING ON FAITH

Hello Sr. Immaculata!

Julie Hoy here.

I understand you are traveling in Ireland. Not sure if you have returned yet. I wanted to write to let you know that I will be in Melbourne in a couple of weeks. I’m hoping we can connect. I was invited to lead a faculty retreat for John Carroll High School in Ft. Pierce. I booked several extra days, by faith.

Here’s my schedule:

I fly into Melbourne on Monday, August 10. I’ve rented a car and will head to Ft. Pierce for the retreat with John Carroll faculty. (By the way… if you wish to join me for that I would ABSOLUTELY love it! And so would they.)

I check out of my hotel in Ft. Pierce on Wednesday, August 12. After that I have nothing planned… no reservations made... and nothing scheduled until I fly home on Monday, August 17.

While I was unable to reach you… I called the church office. They told me you would not be back until the end of July… but would most likely be around that second week in August. Needing to book my flight, I asked God how long I should stay. Not knowing what might happen, just in case I might be able to see you and even perhaps be of some use while I’m there. If I heard right…God said to stay till the 17th. And so I am.

So... here I come. Me and my guitar will be there Wednesday, 8/12 - Monday 8/17.

What do you think? Got time? Any ideas? Shall we talk?

I look forward to hearing from you… and in faith... to seeing you.

With love, blessings and a whole lot of trust in God,

Julie

To those of you who have taken time to read this:
I take you with me on this journey of discovery. Maybe something will happen, maybe nothing at all. The plan is in God's hands and I'll keep you posted.

Scripturally Speaking:

2 Corinthians 5:7
7 for we walk by faith, not by sight.
(NASB)

Romans 12:2
2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.
(NASB)